Only One
by laffinchik
Summary: Here I go, scream my lungs out, and try to get to you. You are my only,  my only one. A weird sort of songfic for the scene where Roxas leaves.


A/N: Aren't you all so happy? I'm adding yet _another_ story to my collection! Oh, and happy AKUROKU DAY! YAY! God, I love those boys.

Disclaimer: Yes, yes, I have no money. If I did, I would totally buy out Square Enix, and make little KH themed Ziploc baggies. Because that would be awesome.

_Axel-_

_I love you. I want you to remember that. I have to leave. Don't follow me._

_-Roxas_

Only One

I've broken this fragile thing now. I can't, I can't pick up the pieces. I love you so much with this second-hand heart of mine. I can't stand to see you unhappy. But I have to, if I'm going to do this. I can't stay here. I can't be with you. I love you too much for that, but i love you enough to let you go. You will find someone, I know it. Maybe here, maybe in the next life. You will have a next life, and you will find someone. Someone beautiful, someone who will love you more than I ever could.

He's still here, you know. My Other can't stand to be with someone else. He's in love just as much as I am. But that's no excuse. I've thrown my words all around, but I still can't give you a reason. You're not even here. Yet here i am, talking to you. I wish you could hear me. I walk through this dark city, alone. The whole world is asleep, ignorant to my loss. But I plow on, as I must. I can do this!

"Roxas!"

Never mind.

"Roxas, what are you doing?"

I turn to see you, with your bright red hair and too green eyes. "Hey, Axel." I am weary and wary of you. You don't understand what it's like, having these feelings. You can't understand, having someone else living in your head, and in your heart.

"Roxas, what is the meaning of this?" You hold up the note I left taped to the inside of your door. I knew I shouldn't have written that.

But I had to tell you, one last time. I know if I had told you in person, you would never have let me go. But I have to, don't you see? Of course you don't, I mean, here you are, chasing after me. Isn't is usually the other way around? "I have to go, Axel."

The look on your face breaks my heart. Your eyes are torn, and hurt is written all over your features. I can see the tears you tattooed on your cheeks will be real soon. "Why is it because of me?" You come closer, tentative hand reaching out for me.

I know I shouldn't, but I take the few steps separating us and take your hand. I'll never be able to leave now. "No, it's not you. It's me."

"But-"

"Axel, did you even read the note?" I say your name, it's so beautiful. It doesn't roll off my tongue, it resides there, waiting for a chance to be said. Everything about you is gorgeous, from your crimson hair to the burn scars all over your body. I love you, all of you, even the gaping holes and missing pieces.

"Yeah," you look down, defeated.

"You know why I have to go, don't you?" I want to stay, I want to cry, I want to hold you. I want you to know how much I need you, want you, love you. But I have to go. I feel so broken. I give up, I just want to tell you so you know.

"Yeah, I do." It breaks your heart, I know. I know you so well, Axel. I even know why you cry at night, why you don't talk about your memories from your Other.

Here I go. I want to scream my lungs out, just to get to you. I try to reach you, but I'm scared I can't anymore. "you are my only one," I murmur.

"Hey, that's my line," you laugh halfheartedly. I've made so many mistakes, I've let you down so many times. My life's shot to hell, trying to leave the Organization. They'll kill me, even if I go back. I wish you could come with me. I can't get up, get out of bed when you're gone. My heart's breaking to bits, just holding your hand. I want to give in and go back with you. But I can't. I won't leave you until you let me. I won't walk out until you know.

"Axel..." I can't do this. I can't do this. I love you too much to leave you like this. But I can't stay here. I have to let go, let _you_ go. But there's just no one that gets me like you do. You are my only, my only one.

You shock me out of my reverie, yanking on my arm. Suddenly, I can barely breathe, your arms are so tight around me. My face is turned against your chest, and yours is buried in my hair. I never understood how you could breathe like that, but instead of asking, I wrap my arms around your too thin frame. "Axel, please." I'm choking, suffocating on air, on life, on love. I love you too much for this! Why can't we run away and be happy, alone yet together?

I feel you take a deep breath, then cry out. "No! You can't go! I won't let you!"You sound so juvenile, so _you, _I start to cry. I don't know if you can tell, you're still in uniform. I turn my head to wipe my eyes against your jacket, but the tears are still coming. They barrel their way out of me and onto you. I try to take a deep breath, but it hitches in my throat. Finally, a sob escapes me, and you understand. "Roxas?"

You call to me, my only one, and it just makes me cry harder. I can't stop it, can't control it, but it was bound to happen. I needed to let these unruly emotions of mine out of my empty shell, so why not when you're here, with me? "Yeah?" I manage to squeak.

"Roxas," you say my name, it's so beautiful when you say my name. Say it again, Axel, say, "Roxas, are you crying?" No, don't say that. Just ignore me. I'm lying to you, Axel.

Here I go, so dishonestly. Left a note for you, my only one. And I know you can see right through me. You can see my pleasure, my pain, all my thoughts, those useless words running through my head. Let me go, my only one, and you will find someone. Someone beautiful, who will love you more than I ever could. They'll be gorgeous, not this scarred, empty shell of a person you hold onto so desperately. "Axel," my voice wavers, and my soul shivers in the gentle breeze, "I have to go." I begin to unwind myself, gently tugging on your arms.

"No! No, you can't!" You're helpless as my lips brush your neck, leaning up up up. You look down at me, our noses almost touching. I break eye contact, blinking slowly, and rise up to my tip toes to kiss you.

Suddenly, you're very alive against me, and I'm not sure if I can leave. Your arms wrap themselves around me again, fingers knotting in my hair. It's all I can do to hold on, my arms trapped against your chest, hands clinging to your jacket. "You can't," you say it again, into my mouth. I'm trapped here, tied to you. You will never let me go, Axel. I know this, but I don't want you to. I want you to hold on to me until I can't fight anymore. I want you to drag me back, or let me take you away. Let me take you away from here, from this god-forsaken place.

"Then come with me," the words fall from my mouth like little bombs, destroying what little I have left in their wake.

"What are you – Roxas! They'll kill us both!" You laugh humorlessly, arms growing slack around me, but your eyes don't waver. They still hold mine captive, your lips are so close to my own. Can you see how you torture me? Can you see how I feel?

I take a deep breath, I know I shouldn't have said that, but I want you here, with me. I want you, period. I want you so bad, Axel, I can barely stand it. "If they catch us," I try to smile, but it fades quickly, a flash of joy in the long, cold night.

You sigh, air blowing across my face, "Confident, aren't we?" You laugh again, but this time, this time there is mirth. I can't help but smile and snake my arms around your neck. I pull you close, hands cupping your face, and I kiss you again. I kiss you passionately, trying to force you to understand, to see. Can you see how I feel? Can you see this thing, burning in my chest? You've set me aflame, Axel, and I don't think it can be put out. I love you too much for that. Too much for anything, really. I can't live with you, I hurt you too much, but I can't live without you, I hurt _me_ too much. You gently pull away, breaking my heart a little, "Roxas," you say. God, I love it when you say my name! Say it again, Axel, say, "Alright, Roxas. Let's see if we can do this."

What? What did you just say? Did you – "Say it again," I whisper, disbelieving. Did you just say you'd come with me? Did you just say you're going to put your life on the line, for _me?_

"I'll come with you, Roxas," you smile, the smile meant just for me. The way you look at me makes me bubbly all over, my nerve endings are singing.

"Really?" is all I can manage,and you laugh again, smiling that same smile. God, I used to be strong, I used to be able to carry my weight. But now I buckle and bend, breaking for you. Who knew falling in love was so hard on the knees?

"I'm coming with you, Roxas," Your smile is infectious, and you come closer, closer.

This time, you're the one kissing _me._ It feels so good, so _right_, I can't help the blush blossoming across my face. My fingers slide back to play with your hair, and I come closer to you, and our hips finally meet. You moan quietly into my mouth, and I breathe it in, living off the sound. I begin to pull away, but you follow me, bending me over backwards. You can't reach my mouth anymore, but that doesn't stop you. It never does. "A-Axel," I try to bite back a moan. "Axel, we need to go."

"So?" You pull me back up, holding my body airtight against yours. You rest your chin atop my head, which is buried in your chest.

"Axel," I breathe your name, I'm not even sure you can hear me.

"Let's go," you release me, keeping only one hand, and you lead me away, into the darkness.


End file.
